There has to be brisket in heaven! 🙏
God confirms it: Heaven will have a fully stocked Buc-ee’s. Beaver Nuggets, world-famous restrooms, and those legendary brisket sandwiches for the saints.
Hell? Just Circle K.
Brisket in Heaven!
Tag: Babylon Bee
Heavenly sources have officially confirmed that posting the “folded hands” / “prayer hands” emoji (🙏) in response to someone’s social media post counts as performing an actual, genuine prayer for them, bringing relief to millions of social media users.
Always thought of @elonmusk more like Tony Stark — genius billionaire playboy philanthropist building the future. But with this kind of money incoming? Batman arc confirmed. 驪 ‘I’m Elon… I mean, I’m Batman.’
Elon Musk Confirms He Will Soon Have Enough Money To Become Batman
You Can’t Go To Anywhere
Amtrak is reportedly cracking down on lyrical travel plans, informing a small-town girl that “anywhere” is not a valid destination. Customer service reps say the issue has been going on for decades, “on and on and on and on.”
“Can’t they recognize a cry for help when they see one?” said Kelly Young. 🐝🚂🚃👩🌾
The Only Way
Local Baptist Careful To Fully Immerse Chick-Fil-A Nuggets In Honey Mustard Sauce
“Lots of people just pour or sprinkle,” local Baptist Ryan Etherton says as he slowly lowers his fourth chicken nugget into his tub of honey mustard, careful to cover all surfaces of the fried chicken product entirely.
