With the birth of Jesus, human history turned from night to day. His word and his example call us to love one another, to serve one another, and to honor the sacred truth that every child is specially made in the image of God.
Donald Trump, remarks at Christmas tree lighting 2025
Category: Holidays
King Saul Hurls Spear At David For Playing Christmas Music Before Thanksgiving
Israel
In a shocking escalation of holiday-season tensions, palace officials confirmed today that King Saul attempted to pin young David to the wall after catching him playing Christmas music before the official start of the Thanksgiving feast.
Witnesses say the incident occurred early in the morning when David, freshly caffeinated and apparently feeling festive, began strumming what sources are calling “an unmistakably jolly rendition” of Joy to the World on his lyre.
According to one palace servant, Saul froze mid-bite of his pre-breakfast turkey leg.
“He looked confused at first,” the servant reported. “Then horrified. Then the king whispered, ‘It’s still November… he wouldn’t dare.’”
Moments later, Saul allegedly bellowed, “NOT BEFORE THE HARVEST FESTIVAL!” and hurled his royal spear across the room. David dodged the projectile—reportedly with the same agility he later used against a large Philistine and, also, small children trying to steal cookies cooling on the palace windowsill.
When questioned about the incident, David shrugged.
“I don’t see the problem,” he said, tuning his lyre. “The earlier the Christmas music starts, the sooner people feel joy. Also, Saul asked for something ‘uplifting.’ I thought he meant ‘Mariah-adjacent.’”
Royal advisors were quick to clarify that while King Saul does enjoy holiday cheer, he believes all Israelites should adhere to the strict Fall Festival First policy, which requires gratitude-themed celebrations, pumpkin-spice sacrifices, and ceremonial reenactments of “that time the Lord gave us food even though we definitely didn’t deserve it.”
Public reaction has been mixed.
Some citizens agree with Saul, insisting it is a slippery slope from early carols to year-round garland. Others defend David, claiming that if you don’t start at least lightly humming carols in mid-autumn, you’ll never be emotionally prepared for December.
In response to the uproar, palace musicians have proposed a compromise: no Christmas music until after the Thanksgiving offering—but sleigh bells may be jingled quietly in private as long as they do not exceed “moderate festivity.”
Meanwhile, Saul’s spear has been retrieved and placed back on its ceremonial hook, though officials admit it may see action again if David even thinks about playing Feliz Navidad before the Feast of Booths.
David, however, remains undeterred.
“Next week I’m introducing the king to the concept of Christmas lights,” he said. “Pray for me.”
Resurrection Facts
I know the resurrection is a fact, and Watergate proved it to me. How? Because 12 men testified they had seen Jesus raised from the dead, then they proclaimed that truth for 40 years, never once denying it. Every one was beaten, tortured, stoned and put in prison. They would not have endured that if it weren’t true. Watergate embroiled 12 of the most powerful men in the world–and they couldn’t keep a lie for three weeks. You’re telling me 12 apostles could keep a lie for 40 years? Absolutely impossible.
Chuck Colson
Merry Christmas to all the Whovians out there!
When to Start Decorating for Christmas
When do you start decorating for Christmas? We’ll probably put out the first pieces of our Nativity today.
Happy Thanksgiving
A Ghostbusters Carol
Once upon a time in the heart of London, the Ghostbusters faced a peculiar case that went beyond their usual spectral encounters. Late one cold and foggy Christmas Eve, the call came in from none other than Ebenezer Scrooge himself. The notorious miser and tight-fisted old man had a ghost problem that even he couldn’t ignore.
Always up for a challenge, the Ghostbusters quickly assembled their proton packs and headed to Scrooge’s gloomy mansion. They were greeted by the elderly man with a mix of skepticism and desperation.
“Ghostbusters, you say?” Scrooge grumbled. “I don’t believe in such nonsense, but these spirits won’t leave me be! They’re ruining my business and haunting my sleep. I demand you rid me of them!”
Undeterred by Scrooge’s skepticism, the Ghostbusters thoroughly investigated the mansion. The air was thick with the presence of otherworldly entities, and the team soon realized that these weren’t just ordinary ghosts. They were the spirits of Christmas Past, Present, and Future – the very apparitions that had visited Scrooge the night before.
Dr. Peter Venkman, always the one with a quick wit, remarked, “Looks like someone had a Dickens of a night, huh?”
As the Ghostbusters delved deeper into the spectral mystery, they discovered that the spirits were trapped in a temporal loop, repeatedly replaying the events of Scrooge’s transformation. The team knew they had to break the cycle to free Scrooge and the restless spirits.
With a combination of scientific prowess and a touch of holiday magic, the Ghostbusters devised a plan. Using their proton packs, they synchronized their energy emissions to disrupt the temporal loop. The spirits were temporarily halted as the beams of energy intertwined, and the team entered the ethereal realm.
In a surreal landscape that mirrored Scrooge’s memories, the Ghostbusters encountered each spirit separately. With their scientific know-how, they convinced the Ghost of Christmas Past, Present, and Future to release their hold on Scrooge. As the temporal loop unraveled, the spirits faded away, leaving a sense of peace behind.
Back in the real world, Scrooge couldn’t believe his eyes as the apparitions disappeared. He stood in his mansion, surrounded by the Ghostbusters and a newfound warmth in his heart.
“Thank you,” Scrooge whispered, his once-icy demeanor melting away. “I never thought I’d say this, but Merry Christmas, Ghostbusters!”
The Ghostbusters tipped their proton packs in acknowledgment and left the transformed Scrooge to enjoy the rest of his Christmas Eve. As they exited the mansion, the team shared a moment of satisfaction, knowing that they saved Scrooge from his ghostly predicament and brought a little more joy to the world on that magical Christmas night.
Not a Christmas Tree
I bet you never pictured a Charlie Brown Christmas tree like this one.
Robotic Vacuum
Got my MIL one of these robotic vacuums for Christmas. I think it’s an off brand trying to copy the original #IFYKYK (stolen from Grunt Style)
Philly Specials
I’m breaking my rule about Christmas music before Thanksgiving to post this awesome song from the Philly Specials. They are 3 
players from the Eagles, including Jason Kelce.